Horses...

I still doodle horses in my notebooks.

I learned to ride when I was 6.
I was struck with a love for horses very young and my mom thought that if it was a phase, better to cut it short.
She called around and found some local day horse camps.
The questions she asked the barn were some thing like "Will my daughter be made to clean stalls, clean up after her horse, clean tack, etc?"
When a barn about 35 minutes from us said yes, mom signed me up.
She was sure that doing hard work, in a barn, in the middle of the summer would put me off horses forever.

Her plan backfired.
I ended up even more in love.

I rode all the way through high school, at two different barns, and with two horses of my own.
When I got engaged I have the last horse to a friend.

I have ridden 3 times in three years.
I didn't think I would miss it so much.

I miss warming my hands up in the thick fur around the girth in winter.
I miss kissing the velvety noses.
I miss facing backwards, resting my head on a rump, just hanging out.
I miss sharing my apples and crackers.
I miss knowing a horse so well I could get them to do things, like piaffe, bareback, with just a halter and lead rope.
I miss feeling that rolling power underneath me, and yet feeling totally safe.
As frustrating as it was, I miss telling someone something that I did with a horse, and having them not believe me, even asking me if I knew which horse I was talking about.
I miss smelling like cedar shavings and horse sweat.

Maybe someday I will ride more often than annually.
Until then I'll keep doodling horses on scraps of paper and dream of being one with 1000lbs of herbivore again.